i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
