You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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