Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
