apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
