ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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