so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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