And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
