my sisters under your porch take her home
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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