FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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