life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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