and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
