i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You left your phone here
Wait...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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