Apparently you make a good broom.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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