There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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