He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
