Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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