Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
