The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
