No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
