Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.