She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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