she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
