So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
