I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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