Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize