Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
