just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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