porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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