If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
