the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your penis caused this!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize