I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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