i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's shark week go big or go home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
