I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He felt like a one man threesome
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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