Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
