Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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