hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
