She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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