I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
