I'm drive I can fine osifer
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
