This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
