yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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