My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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