Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
