i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
