I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
