Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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