he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
