Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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