do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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