I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think i got beer on your cat.
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