wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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