I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..