Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?