Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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