I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Pooping to opera.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
